Age: 35±1
Blood type: wet
Sign: aquarius [citation needed]
Gender: n/a
Pronouns: most are fine
Education: PhD student at [I have been advised not to specify]
Location: outside time, without extension
Profession: heterodoxical busker
Faith: void worship
Favorite word: disintegrate

TESTIMONIALS

“I never know what kind of cursed shit is going to happen when you’re around.” —Ilana Degann

“‘I was right’ is an especially alarming message coming from you.” —Astrid Lundberg

“It feels like you’ve dropped this tiny little bomb every time you open your mouth, and we’re all just waiting for it to explode.” —Micah Levine

“You are constantly constructing situations in which the people you love will have to say things to you that add to your general aura. And then you take all the words like a goddamned fae and you collect them.” —Cecelia Gray (Click here for more of Cecelia Gray’s testimonials)

“You’re very easy to love. You seem like you would be very painful to fall in love with.” —Elli (TheEclecticLibrary)

“You know Miku Binder Jefferson? You’re that but for John Green” —Blythe (amiafairyprincessyet)

“r” —Sophi Toad

“I know you have an age, scientifically. You’re probably not immortal.” —Zélie Thorn

“Villainous abominable misleader of youth!” —TikTok commenter

“I’m great at honesty in performance. I’m terrible at being honest on purpose. My honesty-on-purpose is actually self-destructive rumination.” —T.X. Watson